Well, it’s been about a week since launching my blog Snuggles and Snacks and it really has me thinking about purpose. Purpose of the blog, purpose of my life and role as a mom, wife, and JUST ME! As far back as I can remember, I have wanted to be a mom. I love it, and to be honest, I think, for the most part, I am pretty good at it. But somewhere between having three kids within a 40 month span and quitting my job to be a stay-at-home mom, I lost just a little bit of myself. It was a slow process, a little bit here, a little bit there, but eventually, it really caught up with me.
After Boston made me a mom, of course things changed, as they should. I wanted to devote my time to being a great mom and wife. Therefore I had less time for just me. Then, shortly there after we had Elliana. That is when I decided to stay home full-time. Don’t get me wrong, I absolutely love being home and wouldn’t change it for the world, but I do miss my career and seeing my friends at work on a daily basis. On the other hand, being home with my kids is so rewarding. I get to be there for all the moments, good and bad. But at the same time, it can be very stressful and make me feel very alone. Which is kind of ironic because I am never alone. Going from one child to two, then leaving my job was hard, but then God graced us with our third child, Grace. Naturally, with that, life got harder. Not only the three kid thing. Actually, that fell into place pretty easily (You can read about that in my blog post Adjusting to Motherhood ). It got harder more so with my ability to have any time to devote to myself. I was very self conscious about my weight; I had gained so much. I was often finding myself in a bad mood and always ragging on my husband about something or another (sorry babe). That’s not me. I would normally describe myself as calm, cool, and collective, but for the most part, I wasn’t feeling that way.
After having Grace, I decided it was time for me to be me again. I needed to amp up my self-care to be a better version of me. That being said, having three kids on a single income budget doesn’t really lend itself to weekly manicures or massages. But self-care is more than just that. It’s physical and mental. I found some free ways to take care of me! I joined a mom’s Facebook group which has been great for me. The woman are wonderful and it helps to know others are going through the same stages with their kids and personal emotions. I also decided to start this blog. I had been wanting to do it since Elliana turned one; basically, right when I found out I was pregnant with Grace. I was just too tired then to add anything more to my plate. But now, blogging excites me and gives me something adult-ish to look forward to. I absolutely love being a mom and working in the kitchen. Sharing that with others feels great. Lastly, I’ve added in some me-time into my life. Monday through Thursdays nights, after the kids are in bed, I head outside for a 30-40 minute walk or a run. That has been a game changer. Just that little alone time to think, to not think, or to enjoy the quiet and beauty of my neighborhood is totally rejuvenating. Plus, it has helped me kick-start my postpartum weight loss after the initial plateau. BONUS!
These changes have made a huge difference in how I feel about myself and my overall demeanor. Feeling less stressed and isolated helps me to be more patient with my kids and husband and puts a genuine smile on my face. It has also helped me to realize that yes, I have had three kids in 40 months. And yes, I do not look how I once did. But, I am working on it. I want to feel comfortable in my own skin ~ however it may look. So-what if I’m not a size 6 anymore. I need to adjust to my new changing body, maybe buy some new clothes (sorry again babe) so that I am not trying to squeeze into something that may be a size too small yet. And just keep working at it. Changing my mindset from trying to lose weight as fast as someone else or having to fit into my super cute jeans to being comfortable in my own skin and dressing for my body type as I work toward my goal, has helped me to be happy as me right now, in the moment. Life passes us by too fast to let too many moments pass us up. So, taking time to take care of me and allowing myself to be the best version of me helps me to live life for all it’s moments.
I guess what I want you to take away from the post is how important self-care is. We need it to be happy with ourselves which will intern make us better wives, moms, friends or whatever you may categorize yourself as. Keep your head up and soak in all the moments.
Emotions are all over the place during and after pregnancy. So feeling out of whack can be normal. However, if you are feeling symptoms that seem uncontrollable or over the top you may be experiencing signs of lingering Postpartum Depression. Please contact a medical professional if you feel like your symptoms are getting worse or you feel like you may harm yourself or someone else.
The opinions expressed on my blog are based on my own thoughts, knowledge, and experiences. Please keep in mind that I am not a Doctor or other health professional.
Ellen Wolosek
The isolation that comes with spending 24 hours a day 7 days a week with little ones is quite common. Thank you for being brave enough to put it into words so that other moms understand that it is a normal part of motherhood. As you said the rewards of being able to be there for your children are unmeasurable!
Snuggles and Snacks
Thank you. I was a little nervous to post something with my vulnerabilities in it, but it has definitely sparked some great conversations.